Let me start by saying I hate denying myself. Part of me would rather eat the entire sleeve of Oreos. It's the same part of me that sees a new gadget or Blu-ray at Best Buy and justifies slapping down the money. Still, self-denial is probably one of the healthiest things we can do as people. It develops our character, protects our health, and guards us from the hazardous effects of self-centeredness.
As I was thinking more about this it seemed that theta were three categories of self-denial. Self-denial that is commanded by God, self-denial that is not commanded but benefits us, and self-denial that benefits others. These don't stand alone. In fact they intertwine quite a bit.
The first category is the self denial commanded by God. The bottom line is that there are some things that God says, "you might want to do it, but I am telling you not to." Clearest example I can think of is sex outside of marriage. Now, ultimately God says no for our benefit. Why you ask? I have counseled many couples over the years, and I have never worked with one that had sex outside of marriage (with each other or another person)that didn't carry that baggage into the relationship. I believe sex is like crazy glue for the soul. It is such a deep and wonderful thing that it literally binds your soul with the other person. Physics may say that different matter can't occupy the same space at the same time. However, emotionally speaking sex makes that happen! So, God says no because he knows how damaging it is to have sex with a person and then pull apart from them. It is like tearing flesh. That is why He wants us to enjoy it in a setting that, hopefully, is one of major commitment. In marriage we are saying, "I am with you forever," and that makes it safe to enjoy sex to the full.
The second category is self-denial that is not commanded but benefits you. Cut to the Oreos! Now I know that Oreos are not forbidden by scripture, and I am thankful for that every day. However, even though God doesn't forbid me to eat Oreos, that doesn't mean I should eat... a lot of them. So, some self-denial is not necessarily commanded, but is just wise living.
The third category is self-denial that benefit others. It is not just that God is telling you to do it, but He's telling you to do it in order to give to someone else. I think our major fear in doing this is that we don't believe that God will provide for us. Christmas is coming soon, and frankly shopping brings out the worst in people. I went once on Black Friday and swore it off forever. It's because you get this survivalist mentality out there. It is as if the world had a planet altering event, and now we are all fighting over food. Except it's not food, it's a digital camera. Anyway, the point is we have a nasty tendency to fall into the, "I gotta get mine," mentality. When God asks you to deny yourself for the benefit of others it requires us to trust that He will meet our needs as we meet an other's.
Ultimately, all self denial is good because it is the anecdote for the poison of self-centeredness. In a 2006 interview with People magazine Brad Pitt talked about how having kids was a blessing because it forced him to take his eyes off himself. Having children, he said,
"completely changes your perspective and certainly takes the focus off yourself, which I'm really grateful for...I'm so tired of thinking about myself. I'm sick of myself." http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,1215033,00.html
As much as we strive to take care of #1 it ultimately leads to being deeply dissatisfied. Here is a guy who has it all, and worked hard to climb the ladder of fortune and fame. Yet, ultimately when arrived at the top he realized he had become sick of himself.
I am beginning to grasp the truth that God directs us to deny ourselves not because He gets his jollies from watching us squirm. He does it because He knows it is a preventative treatment (albeit bitter tasting)for the soul. He knows that if we focus only on ourselves and what we want, one day we will wake up and realize we aren't happy....we are miserable.
